Saturday, January 28, 2006

Let me tell you how it will be, There's one for you, nineteen for me

I am in the middle of doing my taxes tonight...and by doing, I mean using the ridiculously user-friendly online TurboTax engine with nerve-wracking angst. This year is only slightly more complicated because of unemployment benefits as well as two jobs. So far, TT is telling me that after making less money last year than I have since college, my return should roughly afford me a package of Ho Ho’s. My sole motivation for filing a tax return lay in the prospect of a healthy return. What good is having an evil yahoo clown in office if it doesn't at least offer some monetary gain? Gravely disappointing. I am finally motivated to do it and the government Web site for student loan information (needed to file year-end interest payment information for deductions) is down. *SHOCK* I cannot believe a government site, especially one for students, would be down. Poor roomie Neil, I am bugging him like a child. “Neil, is this Twelve-A box D or a D box full of elves?”

Tax information is like a foreign language to me and there’s something about the importance of a tax-return that makes me second-guess and panic over each answer. I suddenly doubt my very existence and all ration flies out the window. “Am I legally blind? Am I blind? Hmmm, well, you’d think so if you peaked through my glasses. Wait, no, pretty sure I’m not legally blind…Neil…can I ask you something? I mean, what if I don’t fill this out and THEN I go blind?”

I think the only way that would make my tax experience better would be if they made the W2 forms just a little smaller, two font points should do, so I have to get out a magnifying glass to read it like a nana. Knowing me, I’d take it outside to get some sunshine and burn them to ashes. Excellent. [strums fingers]


diane s said...

i'm so glad we don't have to do this here! sounds hellish...but I know you can do it!!

move to England :) xx

Owner said...

Who can resist reading an entry with a Beatles reference in the title? Not me.

We've had years where we owed a bunch and others where some trickled back. With my lack of planning, what happens is like a box of chocolates.

They'll tax the pennies on your eyes...

Danni said...

Ugh, I spent all of this morning trying to complete the return to no avail. Bush's grand HSA bullshit has caused me great upheaval - following a year of ridiculous healthcare costs. I am considering hiring an accountant to do my return just to double check b/c at this point my state return is HIGHER than my federal one - and even though HSA's are supposed to be tax exempt items I feel like its knocked a bunch off my return. Agrivating! And now that I've written this post I've had that Beatles song in my head for days. :)

Diane, I actually bought two books about Living and Working in London outta college and never made it out. I have plans though...oh yes, I have great plans for myself. You may see me jump the pond one day.