Friday, October 12, 2007

Baby need a diawpwer?

"It started with a few bottles of water. Then beer containers. Before the fans at Chase Field were done, they had lost their dignity and their Arizona Diamondbacks had lost control of the National League Championship Series. "

I am a baseball fan. I mean that in the truest sense, I can watch 3 hours of a slow moving, fun, awesome game mostly manned by old fat guys who look like they just rolled outta their pork rind pile and stumbled out of the bar to try their hand at sports, just for the fun of it. When I was a kid my dad would sometimes get tickets to the Royals games. It was SUCH a treat, and big Danny required adult level patience and behavior. We would have treats and he would sit with me and talk about the game. I think if he had his druthers he would be buried at Cooperstown. Growing up I played competitive softball and ump'ed for girls' fast pitch games. I would sometimes work a tournament and ump 4 or 5 games in one day in the hot, dusty, h-u-m-i-d Nebraska weather. And I loved every minute of it.

Since moving to Colorado, while I couldn't care less about the Broncos taking it up the rue, I LOVE Rockies baseball. Coors Field is gorgeous with a brilliant open view of the mountains and a clean, classical architectural layout. And if you're not a sports fan, let me tell you this: this year, the young club ROCKS MY SH*T. For the first time in franchise history the team played in the NLCS (National League Championship Series) against the dirty batardos of Phoenix: The Arizona Diamondbacks.

During the game, Justin Upton was batting for the frustrated Arizona team when he was hit by a 92 mph fast ball by left-hand starter Joe Francis. Upton trotted off on a temper tantrum run to first for the HBP. On the next up-to-bat hit, Upton slide late into (my favorite player) #7 short-stop Kazuo Matsui hitting him and giving, for good measure, a nasty left hook to Matsui's leg. The umps were in agreement that this called for the forced double out rule (offensive interference). Diamondback fans were enraged and showed this by not only boo'ing but throwing water bottles and then beer bottles and trash onto THEIR - OWN - FIELD. The Rockies coach finally called his team off the field until trash was removed and the crowd calmed down.

A couple of things struck me here. A) that was about $1000 worth of Aquafina on the field and I have a feeling that Pepsi execs were creamin' their jeans. B) I thought COLORADO fans were nasty, but not abusive! Oh, I am so unhappy that my player pulled a dirty slide on the field! I'm going to throw my $9 Bud Light onto the field. Uhnnn. Mommy! *stamps feet*

They nearly ruined what was a lovely and ass-kicking game. I am so glad the Rockies stayed strong and man-handled those jerks; seriously it's a great game. Get a f'n life and accept the fact that your team and your crowd threw a group temper tantrum with the sophistication of Brittney Spears. Next time just show us your hoo-hoo too, it'd be more classy.

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