Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Nice Hummer

Yesterday I went to the DMV b/c in the process of applying for my passport I need a valid ID that matches my current residence or at least is in the same state. So, I hauled my fanny down, pink eye and all, to the Denver DMV. Now, funny enough, in Denver proper there is only actually ONE DMV building and it's in the southwestern part of town, in a really depreciated neighborhood. It's odd to see Lexus SUVs and even nice little compact cars in the lot, it seems out of place. The building which appears to be an old grocery store is ill-designed for the massive number of people there. A stinky pack of PWT, two guys and a girl, engaged in an awkward and public flirting threesome. I had thankfully brought along my iPod for entertainment b/c I stood in line about an hour and a half. Now, as much as I complained about renewing my license back home, it was a dream compared to this. I had to wear my glasses and when it was finally my turn thought I was going to actually fail the eye test, I couldn't read the line of letters at the top. My photo, I have a feeling, is going to look like a mug shot - worst picture of me ever. And not only that, I won't receive the actual license for 30 days. Argh!

Overheard conversation behind me:
[yuppie, 8' 16-year-old girl]: Daddy, daddy, I want to call mommy and tell her I passed!
[yuppie dad to over-sunglassed, now I've made it even w/a neck tattoo guy]: Nice Hummer you got out there. How long have you had it?
[Sunglasses]: I bought it for Christmas, so just since December
[yuppie 16-year-old]: I'm going to tell mommy first that I failed. Daddy, give me a phone.
[yuppie daddy]: How is that on gas mileage.
[Sunglasses]: Well, it got about 12 to 14 mpg, but after I put on the rims and tires it gets about 8 mpg
[Yuppie daddy]: Wow, that's tough
[Sunglasses]: Yeah, it costs be about $85 each time to fill it up
[Yuppie giant girl]: Mommy, I passed, so you have to give up that extra garage stall! Daddy will have to move the BMW to his side

The conversation then devolved into discussions of skiing v. snowboarding and I threw up in my mouth a little, turned up On the Media and waited for the soothing sounds of Bob Garfield to carry me away.

5 comments:

tt said...

I think you should go back to overhearing the crazy guy at the library. He's far less frightening and a better use of oxygen than those ass wipes.

Is asswipe a word? Or is it ass-wipe? You'd think I'd know since, unfortunately, it has become a regular part of my vocabulary thanks to people like those you overheard at the DMV.

AfP said...

the word is "asshat" tt = best word ever.

Danni said...

OMG, I was just telling someone this morning how much I loved the word "asshat." That is so weird!

I know, the crazy guy at the library was much more interesting crazy talk. These guys were more just spoiled douchebags, or one might say, asshats! It was gross and I wanted to tell them to shut the fuck up, but alas, I held my tongue.

Anthony said...

http://www.confusednation.com/asshat/

Danni said...

That might in fact be the single most fantastic Web site in the history of human kind.